Save Me From Myself (BTTxDepressed!Reader) Part 2

I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals


“Name! Let us in, god dammit!” Francis yelled you shook your head mutely in despair, though the could not see you. “NAME” he screamed. Gilbert and Toni joined in. The yelled and banged on your door. You shook violently, you didn’t exactly live in a nice neighborhood, and your apartment was a dump. Which is why you almost never invited the guys over.

Yelling, cheap prostitutes, and cigarette smoke were common in your apartment building. The all enforced the stereotyped caricatures common to this part of town. The other tenants might put up with it for a while, but eventually one was bound to call the cops, or come down with a bat and shut them up. Panic and fear for both yourself and your friends rose in your throat. You wanted to protect them so much.

It was a terrifying prospect, but you would have to open the door. You slowly slid the lock out of the bolt. The no doubt would not had heard it over their frantic yelling. You took a shuddering breath. “It’s open. It was just loud enough to be faintly heard over their cries. You buried your head in your arms, and curled up in a ball in a corner.

There was silence, and then the door burst open. The three of them stumbled in looking disheveled. Gilbert, was for gods sake, still in his pajamas. You watched them through your eyelashes. Gilbert knelt in front of you, grabbed your chin and carefully inspected first your face, then arms, then shoulders, exposed by your tank top. He took a shuddering breath. And pressed his forehead to yours mumbling something in German. Prayers ,  you realized with a twinge.

“Get away!” You yelled, shoving him, he fell back in shock, staring at you. France and Antonio seemed to be frozen in place. “Stop judging me! Just go ahead and say it! I’m fat, ugly and stupid, and you don’t want to be my friend.

Francis and Gilbert gasped and Toni clenched his jaw. “Name.” Gilbert said, “of course we don’t think that! We love your self the way you are! You are beautiful, and nowhere near fat, in fact your unhealthy skinny-”

“-Lies!” you screamed, cutting him off. You knew they weren’t lies but you could not bear to listen. No one could ever love you. “Just leave me alone.” You whimpered. ‘Just let me die so that I don’t have to bear it. A gasp resounded from the room, and then you were pulled to your feet so harshly, you yelped. Then you were slammed into the wall.

Antonio  bared down on you, trapping you in. His eyes were hard and glinted with tears. “Do you really want to die you cosa hermosa tonto?” You stared back.

“Yes.” you sobbed. “Yes i do! So just leave me alone! I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, and I don’t want to be hurt!” He grabbed your wrist in a bruising grip, and yanked you out the door and down the hall. Gil and Fran followed quickly. You had to practically run to keep up with his long strides, and he was still practically dragging you along. You just went limp and refused to move. He picked you up, threw you over his shoulder and continued.

He went up step after step, until he reached the door to the roof. Why were you on the roof? Apparently Gilbert and you were on the same page, because he asked a second later. Antonio didn’t reply. He just strutted to the edge of the roof.

It was night out, and the building roof was high and windy, you could see a few lights twinkling far below, and the height made your head spin. And then Antonio grabbed you by your ankle and dangled you over the edge.

It was instinct that made you scream. Your screamed drowned out the sound of Gilbert yelling in angry German, and Fran’s horrified gasp. The two stared blankly at their best friend dangling their other best friend over the side of the roof.

Fear crept up your spine, wrapped around your neck and squeezed. Your heart beat frantically and you began to sob. “Please stop! Stop, what are you doing! Stop Toni!” You screamed again.

Antonio just continued to stare at you intensely. “You said you wanted to die. I’m helping.”

Your breath left your lungs so fast, it rattled your skull. You whimpered. Just second ago you had been convinced you just wanted to die. To be finally, in peace. In heaven you could be beautiful. Safe. Warm. But now staring death in the face as your were dangled upside down of a roof by your best friend, truth took root. You were just too much of a coward.

“No. No. Please! Stop, I don’t to die. I want to live.” You screamed, and then quietly as the blood rushed into your head and pounded in your ears. “I want to live.” Antonio dropped you. On the roof. Then hugged you, hard.

“Thank god.” He said like a man who had just seen the sun after an eternity of darkness. “Thank god.” And just like that you started being alive again. You were alive when as Gil wrapped you in a blanket and carried you home. You were alive, when Francis pushed you into bed and told you to sleep. You were alive in the middle of the night when you could hear their frantic whispers in the living room. You were alive when you finally fell asleep.